What Paruresis is

The current definition of paruresis is a mental disability in which the sufferer is unable to urinate in the presence or perceived presence of others. Because of the social nature of the condition it has been labeled as an anxiety disorder. There is still debate however, as to whether paruresis is an anxiety disorder or a symptom of anxiety. Most people who suffer from this condition probably do have other mental issues but obtaining such data about a disorder that, by nature causes it's victims to avoid talking about it at all costs is anything but easy. In my own case this is certainly true. While seeing a psychiatrist for anxiety which he deemed as bipolar disorder I could not admit to being paruretic. In fact the only times I have ever admitted to it was when I was put in situations where I had to hold it for so long the pain became unbearable and on this nice, annonymous blog. Paruresis is listed in the statistical manual of mental disorders as a mental condition, not the symptom of one. Judging by the law suits won against companies who were unwilling to change their drug testing policies to accomadate paruretics one can only assume that shy bladder syndrome is it's own disorder. This may have some implications as far as treatment is concerned. If an underlying cause is not treated the symptoms of it will often continue.

I find it surprising that more companies are not changing their methods of testing to accomidate people who suffer from paruresis. When looking for a job I find a lot of jobs I will not even bother to apply to because of this. It's almost tempting to call them out on it but I could never force myself to do that. In fact, I am unsure of how the laws in my area work concerning paruresis and having a hard time finding out. Comments are appreciated although I certainly do not expect any on a subject as embarrassing as this.

How I learned of my paruretic disability

How far would you like to go back on how I see my disability progressing or acknowledging how it's been something relevant to my day to day life. It starts back as early as elementary school with the teacher trying to get everyone to go into the restroom and handle their business all at once in a community urinal. You remember those? Troughs. Nightmares for anyone with paruresis. It was over 20 years ago so it's hard to remember everything that was running through my mind. I can still see it as a traumatic experience and as not adhering to my lifestyle or the way I was taught to deal with bodily functions.

I can remember one of the first times. I think my teacher's name was something Ms. Julie. She was sweet and the class was orderly. Every thing was regular as we went about our daily routines for my first time. She asked us to step into the bathroom, using the water fountain nearby on our way in and out as we liked. As we approached the urinal as instructed in groups it brought up a lot of insecurities in my thought patterns. Quite unsure what my peers were thinking, it became difficult to focus on the task at hand or perhaps to be unfocused from said insecurities. Boy after boy left that restroom. Group after group. I never left until I was ready to admit to Ms. Julie that I was unable to relieve myself. When i walked out and told her "I can't pee, I'm too nervous." she asked me to sit aside and wait for the class. So I sat down along side the wall. Once the class was done she asked a boy to stay with me kind of like a buddy system and the class walked back to the room. This was not the only time this happened.

I know Ms. Julie was only doing what she was told to do and dealing with something like paruresis was probably was not in her job description. It was only recently I learned this is actually classified as a disability and that many other people suffer from it as well. Many of whom have similar stories.