How to Talk About Paruresis

The typical response a person has when they are told that someone they know has paruresis is utter disbelief. Due to the avoidance issues paruretics are prone to they may carry on a relationship for years or even decades without ever admitting to their shy bladder problem. This of course requires a lot of lying which in turn leads to more problems. Constantly making up excuses to cover for your disability can cause a huge amount of stress for a person with an anxiety disorder. The stress is compounded because there is anxiety felt about both the paruresis itself and each excuse made to cover for it. For those with serious paranoia this can easily cause panic attacks leading the sufferer to more or less shut down. Living like this from day to day over the course of a lifetime can cause extreme feelings of low self worth and depression. Learning to cope with paruresis means learning to cope with these feelings as well. For many this means seeing a psychiatrist and probably being diagnosed with depression as well. Although it is a social anxiety paruresis often causes other emotions which need to be treated.

Telling someone about your paruresis can be more difficult than most can imagine. Some people find it is easier to tell someone they have just met than someone they have known and hidden it from for a long time. It may be easier to tell a stranger because there is less chance of being hurt if the relationship ends. Often it can be easier to enter a relationship with the other person knowing about the paruresis right off so there is nothing to hide. Eventually in many relationships, particularly the more personal and work related ones the paruretic will be forced to admit his or her condition. This to some paruretics is a total nightmare and something they fear desperately as indicated by avoidance patterns. This can cause the person to alter their work and social habits to a degree that is absolutely suffocating. One thing that is known about the disorder is that most people find it very difficult to talk about it. Due to this there is no reliable way to determine how many people have been fired or simply given up on jobs because of their paruresis. The fear of rejection or ridicule when telling someone can easily cause a person to just back out of a job interview or any kind of meeting. Some find the best approach is the direct and open one. For many this is difficult but getting it out in the open can sometimes relieve a lot of pressure. A more indirect method would be to simply ask the person to do a little reading on the internet or in books. Doing this helps to educate the person about paruresis and can make it easier for the paruretic, however it may not be appropriate in some situations. Many times people find out about it through circumstance instead of beings told. This can be extremely embarrassing to the person with shy bladder. Another method some find useful is to have someone they know explain their paruresis to people for them.