Thursday, October 1, 2009
Allowing Recovery from Paruresis
No one really understands what it is like to have paruresis. I wonder if one day I will forget and read over this wonder how anyone could be so insane. I have been trying many different drugs in my treatment lately. Mostly anxiety medications as well as one that causes urinary retention so at least I would be able to go out for longer without having to worry about my paruresis. Unfortunately, it was a bit too much and i got rather dehydrated. Overall it has been the most effective treatment I have tried so far. Not that it helped the paruresis but that not worrying about it constantly like I usually do seems to have me in higher spirits. They say a clear mind and staying calm is the best thing and so far I would have to agree. I am still in quite a bind as far as working goes. I do not relish the idea of telling a perspective employer that I am so insane that if I tell them why I cannot work long shifts they will not believe me anyway. Sadly, it is the truth. I have made some progress through cognitive behavioral therapy but every time I think I am finally getting over it I seem to regress. Perhaps it is best to give these things ample time, but patience is not one of my strong traits. Worrying about whether I am making progress or getting worse has become every bit as obsessive a train of thought as the fear of being in pain because I can not go is. It almost seems as though I need something to worry about. Naturally my psychiatrist had a field day with that one. As for me I think I stopped caring after about 3 months of really trying to get better. I always assumed in my cynical nature that I would fail to get over my paruresis and commit suicide as a result. Quite to the contrary, I no longer seem to care what happens to me. Must be the pills. I suppose I should note that my cynical nature is probably why I have not made more progress than I currently have. I feel like I am doing much better now regardless. Paruresis and similar phobias are extremely difficult to make a full recovery from so I have decided, above all that I will allow myself the rest of my life if that is what it takes.
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2 comments:
As someone who has recovered from paruresis after living with it for over 40 years, I know all too well where you're coming from.
The ups and downs, the constant rumination about whether you'll be able to urinate & the consequences of not being able to.
I am a strong advocate for the cognitive-behavioral approach, perhaps aided by the use of an SSRI like Prozac to combat the obsessive thoughts. Most of all, recovery requires a 100%+ commitment to the regular and sustained practice of desensitization exercises.
For some, breath-holding exercises have proven to be effective in inducing the flow of urine. To learn more, please visit the website of the International Paruresis Association at www.paruresis.org.
Sincerely,
Carol Olmert
Author, "Bathrooms Make Me Nervous"
www.bathroomsmakemenervous.com
It's not true that no one know what it's like, because I know and my brother, who also suffers from this disability, also knows. My problem has gotten worse and worse as I get older. The only thing that saves me is that about 10 years ago I learned to self-catheterize. It's easier for me because I'm a woman, but I really recommend that you learn to do this as well. It frees you to do anything. The only downside it that I think it may have worsened my condition because now I know I have an "out", and I can't pee in many places/situation where I used to be okay. But you are already where I am now, so you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
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